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Mindfulness. It seems that everybody talks about it these days. It is a concept that is at the same time very familiar and misunderstood. Mindfulness is a way of being. It is being aware of what is happening within and around us, without judgment. Those who practice it feel more connected to their truth and typically experience relief from depression and chronic anxiety.

Our mind is all over the place. It never sits still. It constantly juggles ideas, opinions, reactions, etc. We spend large amounts of time planning the future and remembering the past. Our mind is rarely in the here and the now. Sounds familiar?

Most of us spend large amounts of their time in their head. We are rarely enjoying the present moment. Instead, we dwell on the past, worry about the future, or think about some catastrophe that happened miles away. Our thoughts perseverate over and over. The more we try to shut them out, the more they come in. “What’s wrong with me?”, “Why do people don’t like me?”, “Why did she look at me?” “I’m no good enough.” “I should have done this.” We constantly evoke unpleasant thoughts and emotions that do not pertain to the here and the now. And although these are just thoughts, most of the time we think of them as the truth and we end up with sleep problems, chronic anxiety, or depression.

In addition, the present moment gets completely squeezed out. Yet the present moment is the only time that we are ever alive, the only time we can ever learn anything, express any kind of love or emotion. The only time we can be in our own body, the only time we can see, hear, smell, taste, touch, or communicate is now. And when we spend our time in our heads, beauty passes us by.

Many of us are afraid to experience our own life. We are uncomfortable with our emotions, our thoughts, and our body sensations. We spend our time distracting from them, scrolling on our phones, working long hours, and trying all kinds of ways to numb ourselves. Again, when we do that, we miss our own life.

In addition, emotions, thoughts, and body sensations are there to inform us about where we stand in the world. These messages really want to be heard. They don’t just disappear because we look away. They pile up. They wait for moments of silence to show up stronger and louder. We then engage in even more frantic efforts to avoid them. We try to escape or control our emotions but in reality, we end up controlled by them.

Mindfulness teaches us that there is no reason to fear our inner experiences. It shows us that we don’t have to let our thoughts and emotions accumulate and ambush us. We can acknowledge them, recognize them for what they are: just thoughts and emotions, and let them go. Mindfulness shows us that we are not our thoughts and emotions, that they cannot hurt us, and that we don’t have to react to them.By practicing mindfulness, we stop being controlled by our thoughts and emotions. We become free.

Mindfulness is paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally. Paying attention to what? It does not matter. It’s the attending itself that is important. Attention is the faculty that allows us to navigate our lives. It allows us to know what is happening or know that we don’t know what is happening. It helps us to be in a wiser relationship with what is going on in our lives than being at the mercy of our emotional reactions, thoughts, and fears.

Mindfulness is not a technique, although there are many ways to cultivate mindfulness. It’s actually a way of being. It’s being embodied, being in equilibrium with the comings and goings of the outer world and the ups and downs of having a body.

We can train our brains to stay more connected to the present moment. I often start sessions with a short mindfulness exercise. I also assign mindfulness exercises to be practiced between sessions. This can include, depending on your preferences, formal sitting meditations, grounding techniques, or activities such as mindful walking, cleaning, or eating.

Mindfulness embraces the actuality of our mind, heart, body, and relation with the outer world. It gives us new degrees of freedom to navigate the ups and the downs of our relationship with life, with other people, with our own aspirations and own fears, and with our own body. It is a way to connecting with your life.